Monday, August 11, 2008
Our journey continues
Barry’s life partner Rick and Barry’s family in Baltimore would like to express heartfelt thanks for the expressions of kindness, love, and support that they have received during this most difficult time. The memorial services in Jacksonville and in Baltimore were beautiful and moving tributes. Other memorial gatherings were held and masses, condolences and memorial donations have been offered by people who knew and loved Barry.
Barry left us with an understanding of how important it is to live life fully, to make the most of the time that is granted to us, and to cherish the people who are dear to us. Barry mentioned a passage from the Confessions of St. Augustine that he wanted to be shared at his memorial. A copy of that passage is included here.
“And friendship had other joys to captivate my heart. We could talk and laugh together and exchange small acts of kindness. We could join in the pleasure that books can give. We could trifle together. If we sometimes disagreed, it was without spite, as a man might differ with himself, and the rare occasions of dispute were the very spice to season our mutual accord. Each of us had something to learn from the others and something to teach in return. If any were away, we missed them with regret and gladly welcomed them when they came home. Such things as these are heartfelt tokens of affection between friends. They are signs to be read on the face and in the eyes, spoken by the tongue and displayed in countless acts of kindness. They can kindle a blaze to melt our hearts and meld them into one.”
- From the confessions of St. Augustine, Book IV
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Memorial Services
Barry Jay Whiteley, 50, Jacksonville, Florida, passed away peacefully in his home Tuesday, July 29, 2008. He was born December 13, 1957 in Baltimore, MD. Mr. Whiteley earned a degree in mathematics and economics in 1979 from Western Maryland College (currently known as McDaniel College) in Maryland. Mr. Whiteley thoroughly enjoyed his 25 year career as Principal Consultant for Ascension Health Information Technology which is associated with St. Vincent's Hospital in Jacksonville. He also worked as a Principal Consultant for Computer Sciences Corporation for 4 years. Barry's passion and excitement for his work was contagious and his enthusiasm motivated all who worked with him.
Barry is predeceased by his wonderful grandmother Katherine Cronise of Maryland for whom he held the greatest esteem.
Barry is survived by his life partner, Richard Overton of Jacksonville, Barry's mother, Dolores Catherine Schuhart, stepfather, Charles Harris Schuhart of Catonsville, MD. He also has six surviving siblings, brothers Stephen Kenneth Whiteley, Charles Harris Schuhart III, and Terry Dean Whiteley as well as sisters Christine Lynne Combs, Charlotte Anne Rouseau, and Sandra Christina Bertanomi all of Maryland.
A memorial service will be held in Jacksonville, Florida on Sunday, August 3, 2008 at 11:00 a.m. at The River House on King St. and the St. Johns River across from the St. Vincent's Medical Center. All friends and family are invited to attend to share your humorous or heartwarming experiences you've had with Barry.
A memorial service will also be held in Catonsville, Maryland on Saturday, August 9, 2008 at 10:00 a.m. in the garden of St. John's United Church of Christ.
Casual dress for both services is appropriate.
In lieu of flowers, memorial donations may be made to the Jacksonville Humane Society or Saint John's United Church of Christ, 1000 South Rolling Road, Catonsville, Maryland 21228.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
The Journey Ends
Rick
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Hallowe’en now and then
When we got back to the house we would dump out all of our candy and we would re-choose it after Mom and Dad took out all the unsafe candy. We were allowed to have one piece a day until the candy disappeared – which often took until Thanksgiving. Our candy lasted quite a long time.
Halloween in Jacksonville involves buying quite a bit of candy because we get a lot of trick-or-treaters. We try to be generous with the trick-or-treaters and usually the candy will last all night. We’ll get anywhere from 75 to 100 trick-or-treaters which we feel is quite a few. Luckily when we run out they are pretty understanding.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Concerts when I was young
At the Merriweather Post Pavilion, an outdoor concert venue in Columbia, Maryland, a number of friends went to several Linda Ronstadt concerts when we were in college. Her concerts were excellent. Her voice was amazing. Unfortunately, we were always pretty far away and had difficulty seeing her. We would take picnic dinners and make an evening of it.
One time, my friend Betsy invited me to a concert at Merriweather Post Pavilion and I thought she said it was going to be James Brown. I said ok, we got there and I was pleasantly surprised to find it was Jackson Browne instead. He was still recording "Running on Empty" and the cut of "Stay" on that album was recorded the night we were there. Every time I hear that cut, I like to think that Betsy and I are singing our hearts out on it.
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Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Easter Egg and Irish Potato Candy Recipes
Easter Eggs
1/4 lb butter
1 lb confectioners sugar
1 tablespoon real vanilla or other flavoring of your choice
You can add coconut flakes if you like.
Mix together in the shape of an egg.
Cover in room temperature melted chocolate. Bittersweet is best, but use milk if you prefer. Cool on wax paper.
Irish Potato Candy
Use the same recipe adding one cooled mashed potato to the mix. Many add coconut flakes to this also. Make smaller pieces than the full size Easter Eggs.
Coat candy with cinnamon.
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Hotel Adventure in Milwaukee
I inquired and found it was also a hotel. The units were owned by individuals that then made them available for rental. I was assured the units all met quality standards so that we would be pleased with any unit that was selected for us. They were described as elegantly decorated one bedroom units.
After the three of us checked in, it became very clear that elegant is in the eye of the beholder. Jim was fortunate to end up with a unit that was actually quite nice. His had a bit of a 50's retro feel and he was pleased with his unit. His even had an iron.
Maddie's unit was a horror. The bedspread had a huge stain, the pictures were hung just inches from the ceiling as if the owner were a giant. The microwave was blocked by a cabinet. It was not an elegant experience for her.
As I recall, my unit was very drab with lots of brown. It also was not very conveniently arranged and I seemed to be rearranging constantly. It was not a place I would want to stay again.
The elevators were a bit of a challenge also. Everything about the place seemed to be a bit shabby and run down.
Parking was paid in advance, but you weren't guaranteed a spot. That made for interesting returns from work each day.
We learned our lesson that week and were much more careful about hotels in the future. It was very much a case of buyer beware.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
The Carriage House
We used the Mansion as our church building until 1967 when we built a new church building elsewhere on the 32 acre property. The Mansion was then used by other community oganizations.
In 1998, the family indicated they were moving to New Jersey and offered my church first option to buy. After much consideration, we purchased the property to use as a retreat facility. The house contained an entry hall, a large living room, a dining room, a bathroom, a huge great room and kitchen, a laundry room and another large room on the ground floor. The second floor contained 7 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms on the second floor. There were two large porches, plus a deck in the back. There was also a swimming pool. The basement still contained the horse stalls from when it was a working carriage house. It was quite a house.
It was determined it would be helpful to have someone living there to keep an eye on the house. I volunteered to move into the house as that person. The rent was reasonable and it seemed like it would be an adventure. It took a lot of work to get the house to a state where it could be properly used. Floors needed to be refinished, walls painted, etc. There were LOTS of work parties with church members to get this done. Quite a few went late into the night with a few of us putting in countless hours.
Furnishing the Carriage House was a challenge also. Those 7 bedrooms held 16 beds. If every bed was full, that was 20 people. Church members donated beds, mattresses, linens, towels, etc. There were also donations of tables and chairs for the great room where guests would eat meals and hold meetings. Four dining tables fit in this large great room.
My furniture was used in the living room and we filled in the space with other appropriate pieces. I had just returned from China so a large oriental carpet graced the living room. The living room also had a fireplace that was used frequently.
My bathroom on the main floor. It was small, but we managed to find a really fun wallpaper by Susan Boynton, who had a large line of greeting cards. The wallpaper featured a lot of her characters, particularly the hippo, in various bathroom functions - shaving, showering, etc. It was fun and whimsical.
Once the house was completed, it was a joy to live here. Retreats typically took place on the weekends, other times I had the place to myself. I had a large room on the ground floor as my living quarters. . It served as my bedroom and office. It had five large windows and opened directly into the foyer. It had access to the back deck without disturbing those there for a retreat.
In the mornings I would often come out and find deer gathered in the driveway. I was only minutes from the airport which was quite handy for travel. I could get to BWI without hitting a traffic signal. I was also much closer to the office.
The kitchen was amazing to work in. I have never worked in a larger one. Lots of cupboard space, counter space and a pantry. I quickly became spoiled by the space and convenience.
We held the 25th wedding anniversary party for my parents here, setting up tables and chairs on the large driveway area and front porch. There were about 50 people and we all fit quite easily.
The front porch was a popular gathering place most any time of day. The driveway was lined with maples and locusts. The fragrance of the locusts in the spring was overwhelming and the colors of the maples in the fall was stunning.
We would also have our 4th of July crab feasts on the back deck.
The pool was a popular attraction. It was always refreshing in the evenings to take a dip in the cool of the evening.
Since the house sat in a heavily wooded corner of the property, I also had a lot of birds. I hung a finch feeder and was often treated to a large number of yellow finches on the feeder. It was always a battle with the squirrels, of course, to keep them off the various feeders.
At Christmas, I would put a large tree in the living room and cover it with lots of lights. It looked as if it were on fire there were so many lights. I always liked to take my glasses off to enjoy the lights on the tree as each light then looked like a little star. Try it sometime.
The Mansion has a history of weddings. The property was originally a wedding gift from a lumber merchant to his son. An addition was made many years later to hold a reception for a family member. Before the original family sold us the Carriage House, they asked if they could use the Mansion for their daughter's wedding reception. We agreed and the caterer they selected loved the space and asked to use it as their permanent catering location. The Mansion underwent a major renovation and has become a much sought after location for weddings, receptions and corporate functions. Everything old is new again.
The groups that used the Carriage House were usually church groups from the Baltimore area, but sometimes it would be guests for a wedding. One that sticks out in my mind was a large group from France. I studied French in school, but certainly could not keep up with these folks. The house was also fragrant with heavy perfume for days.
We smoked a turkey one time in the grill on the deck. It was the best turkey I think I ever had. We also made a lot of homemade ice cream there. There was nothing better than fresh strawberry ice cream.
Connie's family were my closest neighbors so we did a lot of socializing together. We shared many, many good times that have led to a very close lifelong friendship.
This house was perfect for entertaining. I can't remember how many cookouts and parties were held here. For New Years I was able to offer over night accommodations for anyone that needed it with all those bedrooms.
I loved to cook, but one particular dinner party turned out to be a disaster. I had invited several of my closest friends for dinner, Jim, Jim and Tracy. I made the mistake of serving dishes I had never tried before. What a huge mistake. I won't go through the menu with you. Suffice it to say they have not forgotten that dinner and neither have I. It was so bad, Domino's delivered.
I was involved in a lot of church activities. I was able to walk to church. One time we had a youth event for about 75 teenagers from New Jersey, Delaware, D.C. and parts of Maryland, Virginia and West Virginia. They slept at the church, but we used the Carriage House for some of the activities, especially the pool parties. I was much younger then and able to work with all those teenagers.
The pictures here were provided by my friend Connie. Connie did the catering for the Carriage house, providing three meals a day for those staying there. When I moved to Jacksonville in 1991, Connie also became the resident of the Carriage House.
The Carriage House property has since been sold to an assisted living facility called Brightview. The original Carriage House was torn down but the facility that was erected in its place is reminiscent of the Carriage House.
Those were wonderful years at the Carriage House. Quiet, peaceful, exciting and all the room in the world. What a memorable place it was to live.
The Evansville girls at the beach
The first picture is Linda and Cindy.
The second is Janice and Cindy.
I think they all look great.
Third round of chemotherapy complete
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Monday, July 21, 2008
Update on the Evansville visitors
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Sunday, July 20, 2008
Out of town visitors
Wilma Newton had called to tell me she would be vacationing in Ponte Vedra just outside Jacksonville. We set a time for her to visit on Thursday. She stopped over with some casseroles, fruit and cheese which we greatly appreciated. We had a great visit. Wilma, thanks so much for stopping over and I hope the rest of your vacation was enjoyable.
The second visit was a complete surprise to me but had been arranged with Rick. Saturday afternoon I heard a knock at the door. I then saw a head in the window at the side of the living room. I thought it was a solicitor and thought "wow, that's pretty nervy". Rick went to the door and in through the living room into my room I see three other people coming in.
My mind still was not registering. Finally, I realize it was Cindy Hawes, Linda Clemmer and Janice Elwood. Cindy and Linda are part of my former team from Evansville, Janice is our MS4 and OmniBuyer contact at St. Mary's Medical Center in Evansville. They had driven down from Evansville to surprise me. They sure did that. Cindy said they got 45 mpg in her Pruis. They also brought a Tater Tot casserole from Diane Feyen, a former co-worker. We all had it for dinner and it was delicious. Thanks, Diane. We also enjoyed a friendship cake that Cindy had baked. To quote Rachael Ray, it was yummo.
We had a nice long visit Saturday night. They went to the beaches this morning and afternoon and will be back later today before heading back to Evansville Monday. What a wonderful surprise this has been.
Thanks to all of you for your love and support.
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Tales of Greece
The trip was three weeks. We spent two weeks in Greece, one in Italy. It would be longest time Rick and I had ever spent together due to my travel.
We stayed at the Hotel Attalos. Everyone there seemed to be named Kostas. At the time, it was a student hotel. A friend of Betsy's arranged the itinerary for us using one she used to take student groups to Greece. The hotel had very comfortable rooms. The elevator was small, but worked. It would hold two people or one with luggage. Rooms were air conditioned, but you needed to insert the plastic tag from the room key to turn it on. This meant the air conditioning wouldn't be running when you were not in the room. It turned out this tag was the size of a credit card. That made it easier to cool the room off.
Just as New York has the garment district, the diamond district, so does Athens. This area turned out to be the hardware district. It was also within walking distance of the Acropolis. An amazing location for such an inexpensive hotel. I recall it was only about fifty dollars per night. Since our trip started in Athens, took us to Rhodes then back to Athens, we stayed at the Attalos twice. The first stay we didn't have a balcony but the second time we had a rather large balcony. Each time, our rooms did adjoin.
The first night we were there, we took time to attend a traditional dance performance at the Acropolis and to see the light show performed nightly on the Parthenon. In a stroke of luck, my college roommate Rolf and his partner Dominic were also going to be there before they started their own vacation in Greece. I hadn't seen them in some time and had to come to Greece to see them. The dance performance was great. We all commented that the light show needed the Disney touch. The light show was set to triumphant music but the light show itself was nothing more than red to white and back again. It needed help.
There was a farmers market around the corner that we would frequent for fresh fruit. Betsy tried to buy a smaller amount than the vendor wanted to sell. His response was "no two, no two". We had to buy more.
Also just down the street was the most amazing bakery. All kinds of baklava and other pastries, but the one we thought most beautiful were birds nests of the shredded wheat type pastry coated with honey and filled with pignoles (pine nuts) that resembled birds eggs. We would often buy pastries to take back to the hotel or take then with us during the day.
Breakfast was provided each morning. We would all gather for the thick, Greek yogurt, honey, olives, feta and bread the hotel provided. We would often supplement with the fruit we would get at the farmers market. The peaches were always the best, but the apricots were very good also. We would also prepare for the day by reviewing our itinerary. Betsy, ever the teacher, would have prepared by checking out the Frommer's Guide. We teased her when we heard her say "Frommer says" but her information was always spot on and helped us better enjoy the day.
One of the best features of the hotel was the rooftop lounge and garden. Each evening, we would return to the hotel, put our card in the air conditioning slot, go to the rooftop and enjoy the view and revisit the day. We could see the Acropolis on one side, Mt. Lycabettus on the other. Mt. Lycabettus is the highest point in Athens.
At the base of the Acropolis is a neighborhood called the Plaka. It is the oldest neighborhood in Athens. Most roads are closed to traffic. It is a residential, restaurant, shopping, cultural and archaeological area all at one time. Some of the stores are quite nice, we bought some wonderful pottery there. There were also a lot of jewelry stores that Doris and Betsy enjoyed frequenting, particularly for silver and amber pieces. There were also enough low end stores that we referred to the area as the "schloka". There were so many cats wandering the area; we called them the "Acropicats"
We had several tours arranged. The first was to Delphi. As we were waiting on the bus, a woman got on the bus dressed in very body fitting clothing and very high espadrilles that laced quite far up her legs. She did not appear to be dressed for a full day of touring. Imagine our surprise when we found out this was our tour guide. It turns out she was certified in eight languages and was the best tour guide we experienced on the entire trip. I guess the old adage truly applies, never judge a book by its cover.
The tour of Delphi took us up multiple levels of the mountainside. We started in an ancient agora or market place. As we went up the mountainside there were more and more levels. There was the treasury building on one, the "navel of the earth" at another, finally concluding with a large amphitheater at the top.
The next tour was a three island tour. The first island stop was Aegina. It features a monastery that started construction in 1904. It is still under construction. It was magnificent. The next island was known for its pistachios. They were wonderful, but the pistachio ice cream was less than tasty. By the third island we were content to stay on board.
All the restaurants where we ate had wonderful food. Vegetables in Athens tasted better than any vegetables we had ever had. One memorable meal in the Plaka was for Doris' birthday. She had a whole snapper prepared Greek style at a restaurant called Miltons. All of our meals were excellent, but we ate and drank to Doris' health that night.
We're off to Rhodes next. When we boarded the Olympic Airlines flight to Rhodes, we reached cruising altitude. This was a smoking flight and most of the people on board not only smoked, they also had those very loud lighters. It sounded like everyone was lighting up with the old fashioned Zippo lighters at one time.
When we got to the hotel, we were about an hour late. The front desk person looked up our reservation and said "you're late". We thought it odd they cared about one hour. It turns out either Sue made an error or the hotel did. They had been expecting us on another day. Luckily they were able to squeeze us in that night and then moved us to better rooms the next night. The bathrooms in the better rooms always seemed to flood, but we dealt with it.
The ancient city of Rhodes dates from the time of the Crusades. The Crusaders Palace is one of the key historical sites here. The city walls are ancient. Imagine our surprise to find a hole cut into one of the walls and an ATM machine inserted into the wall. I don't think that would happen in the U.S.
At the waters edge there were lots of windmills. This always reminded me of the Walt Disney movie called "The Moonspinners". There were also lots of pastry shops with seating that ran almost to the edge of the water. There must have been ten of them in a row. It was fashionable to go in the evening for dessert, coffee or a drink. We soon discovered that most of the offerings from each place tasted the same.
One evening we ate at a restaurant that was on a second level. As we looked down on the town square below, it appeared as if we were sitting in an Epcot showcase of nations for Greece if one existed. Everything was so representative of Greece it looked perfectly suited for that. That evening was also the first and last time I ate smoked octopus.
We took a tour of Lindos, known for butterflies, pebbled floors and donkeys. The only way to the Acropolis in Lindos is by foot or donkey taxi service. Rick and Doris rode the donkeys, Betsy and I walked. We were constantly approached by elderly women selling laces and linens on the sidewalk. It was often difficult to walk without stepping on them. Most people walk back down as the donkeys know they will be fed and they sometimes move a little faster than people care for.
The oldest synagogue in Greece is in Lindos. We did take the opportunity to visit it. It was worth the time.
One evening as we were walking the shopping district, some china caught our eyes. To this day, Doris and Betsy say it took us until midnight to select our plates as they are all different. We still use them on special occasions.
As we explored the ancient city one day, we discovered a dressmaker that was a favorite of Dame Margot Fonteyn, the great ballerina. Doris bought a beautiful evening garment from the dressmaker. She still wears it still.
One of the interesting options at one of the restaurants we enjoyed was the chance to pick out the fish you wanted to eat that night. Talk about fresh.
At one point, Betsy purchased something where she made the comment that when she got home she would have to rearrange. Rick and I pointed out that we don't rearrange, we redecorate.
Rick and I took a day trip to Marmaris, Turkey while Doris and Betsy went to the Valley of the Butterflies. Upon our arrival in Marmaris, Rick and I went to the Turkish Baths. What an experience. Hot baths with a rubdown, sitting in the steamroom ending with a massage. Talk about being pampered.
Next we went to the street market and purchased spices, especially saffron. Rick's mom had requested a red leather purse and we found the perfect one for her. She loved it when we gave it to her.
Next, we went to look at carpets. We happened upon a carpet store run by someone with the name Attila. He invited us to sit down, enjoy sweet apple tea and then proceeded to show us hundreds of carpets. They were even bringing them in from his other store for us to review. We finally selected two, both still in our living room. Our previous cocker spaniel, Dulcie, enjoyed the tassles a bit too much as has Margo.
As we took a taxi back to the port to return to Rhodes, we ran into difficulty with the taxi driver. There was a torn corner on the U.S. five dollar bill we used to pay the fare. We finally convinced him it was ok to accept.
The mode of transportation to get from Rhodes to Marmaris is hydrofoil. The trip over was uneventful. The return trip was quite rough. The seas were difficult and the ride quite bumpy. I rather enjoyed it, but since most of the other passengers did not I kept my enjoyment to myself.
It was good we didn't spend too much time in Turkey. We would have never been able to figure out how much anything cost. The exchange was one U.S. dollar to 80,000,000 Turkish lira.
We returned to Athens and went to the Changing of the Guard at the Tomb of the Unknowns. It was a moving experience.
Our last tour was to the Temple of Poseiden. This temple is perched on high on a hill perched above the Aegean Sea. The view is spectacular. On the back of the temple, Lord Byron has carved his name. Not a good example for the graffiti artists.
This completed our trip to Greece. I know this was quite a long entry, but hope you enjoyed it. Perhaps a trip to Greece may be in your future.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
A picture of the quilt
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Friday, July 18, 2008
Rick's retirement party
The older quilt was designed to match a print hanging over our bed. It is a Mondrian painting that we saw when traveling to Amsterdam. We'll fill you in on all the remaining travels another time.
The new quilt matches the current quilt in tone and color. It is a beautiful and thoughtful gift.
Have a great weekend.
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Snowballs and Easter Eggs
But the best were the snowballs. Whenever there would be a deep, clean snow it would be gathered and a combination of milk, sugar and vanilla would be added to it. And voilà , we would have home made snowballs. I can still taste them now.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Oncologist appointment today
This does not change the statistical prognosis of nine to twelve months that I received two months ago. We realize that this is just the statistical prognosis and hope that there will be more time than that.
Rick and I all along have indicated that quality, not quantity of life is what is important to us. We realize that there are always miracles and we do continue to pray for them as you do. But our outlook has always been to look at the statistical but pray for a miracle.
I continue to feel great. Our days are full of therapy, appointments, visitors, and time to ourselves. So we are making the most of every day as we hope you are.
Being prepared
I know that many people when they started sending emails in response to my blog have indicated that they have scheduled physician appointments that they had been putting off or that they had been reviewing their workload or their family time - and that’s certainly appropriate. But please make sure that you and your family are protected legally.
Our Christmas vacation in New Orleans
We also took a tour of Oak Alley. This was used in the film "Interview with the Vampire".
While we were enjoying the view from the front of Oak Alley we saw a couple walking down the alley of oak trees. We saw him fall to his knee and propose. She did accept.
It was a wonderful vacation full of history, wonderful food, minor gambling losses, and great memories.
Mother's furniture update
Team story update
They now also offer them in a single serving pack. What a great idea. If only they had then.
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Tuesday, July 15, 2008
One more team story
One time one of the many snacks that we picked up was lemon essence prunes. If you haven’t tried them, they are delicious. Maddie and I were working on a particularly trying issue when we suddenly realized to our horror that we had managed to snack our way through much of the bag of prunes. This was before they needed to change the name to dried plums.
The look of realization on our faces was likely very comical. Of course, the next day we learned that not only are lemon essence prunes delicious, they are effective. Perhaps we should have been more thoughtful in our consumption of them. So, just as there had been a ketchup pack in that basket from the team, there was also a bag of lemon essence prunes. I ate one. It was as delicious as ever.
Oncologist appointment Wednesday
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Another busy day
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An apple pie moment
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Monday, July 14, 2008
Appointment and PT update
I did have my first home physical therapy session today. Between that and the 6 wheelchair transfers (bed to chair, chair to car, etc), it was a tiring day.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Appointment update
My first plane ride
Sometimes we would go up to Westminster, spend the afternoon, and we would all get airplane rides. Dad would sometimes do loop the loops, and spins. Mom and Dad would use the plane to fly to Oshkosh, Wisconsin for a small plane gathering each summer.
You will recall I mentioned in a previous post that my family never seems to get rid of anything. Part of the airplane is still in my parents’ garage even though it has not been flown for probably at least 30 years.
We were very, very lucky kids to have that kind of opportunity. Most kids don’t have an airplane available to them.
Oops, sorry
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Friday, July 11, 2008
More blasts from the past
The third, though, I think is my favorite. Caught in what could only be called a Fonzie pose, this one was taken in the living room of the house that we grew up in. Note the wallpaper, carpet, drape combination. The house was a row home at 31 Franklintown road just up the street from Grandmother’s house. The barrel backed chair behind me is still in Mom’s current home. The child’s rocker to the right was either Chris’s or Steve’s (there were two of them) and is probably still in my mother’s basement. The box to the right held a vacuum cleaner and is now in my sister Chris’s house and used for storage. My family tends not to get rid of things.
I’m not sure who put together this dapper outfit but it does cut quite a smart statement.
All from a pack of ketchup
In a basket that the team had sent me a few weeks ago there were lots of items reminding me of various trips and foibles that we had been through. There was an envelope that I opened up. It had a ketchup packet in it. I burst out laughing as I recalled this particular story.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Visitors
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Home update
Phone calls are welcomed. Since I am now home, I'll be limiting calls on the cell. Please email me for the home phone number.
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Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Update on Jim
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Tuesday, July 8, 2008
We're home
Discharge planning with nursing took some time to run through.
By 3 pm we were on our way home. Thanks to Chuck for helping us with the transition.
When I arrived home, the beautiful signs you see at the end of this entry were waiting for me. Thanks to Scott and Leslie for that.
Changing the den to my room worked out very well. It is comfortable and beautiful.
The rest of the day we got settled in. Home care stopped in for an initial visit.
Therapy will likely be here tomorrow.
I know I was apprehensive about today, but it turned out as well as it could. I'm home and about to turn in for a good nights sleep in my own house surrounded by those that love me.
Once again, Rick has done an amazing job. His strength inspires me.
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Moving plan
Rick will come over in the morning to start packing up the room. It's amazing what you collect in six weeks.
We'll start the move early afternoon, probably around 2 or so. Any remaining equipment will be delivered after we get home.
Please wish us the best as we move into this new phase of our lives.
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Monday, July 7, 2008
Prayer Request
Jim is the creator of my blog. He also has one that can be accessed at www.notbymyself.blogspot.com.
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Sunday, July 6, 2008
RAP functions
Riverside (where St. Vincent's is located) and Avondale (where Rick and I live) together form the Riverside-Avondale Historic District.
RAP sponsors a number of events during the year, but the two Rick and I always enjoy the most are the Spring Home Tour and Luminaria in December.
On the Home Tour, there are usually ten homes that may have been recently renovated, perhaps are in the process of being renovated, or simply have some features of note worth seeing. It takes several hours to complete taking the tour. It's always fascinating to see what other people have done to their homes. Sometimes it's like seeing something amazing from Candace Olsen of HGTV's "Divine Design". Other times you think you've walked into a bad episode of "Trading Spaces". In any case, it's always interesting.
Luminaria takes place on a Sunday night before Christmas. At dusk, white paper bags are filled with sand and a lit candle and then line the curbs of the entire historic district. Tradition says the lights guide the spirit of the Christ Child to your home.
Our house is on a corner and it takes thirty-six candles to cover the property. Forty thousand luminaria light the entire historic district. People host parties in their yards, people from all over Jacksonville come to enjoy the sights. The business district is one block away and very busy. It's in the quiet beauty of the side streets with the unbroken lines of softly glowing lights that I get the most pleasure.
Chuck and Ron always host a Luminaria Open House that night. Walking home from it late at night is always a special treat. The streets are quiet, the crowds are gone, the candles are still glowing and the world seems at peace.
Saturday, July 5, 2008
Ramp pictures
Here are two pictures of it. Thanks again Alan and Chris for such a great job.
Thanks also to Scott Albury for stopping by to take these. I've known and worked with Scott and the staff at St. Vincent's in Jacksonville for 28 years or so.
Good Friends and Neighbors
Chuck walks their dogs frequently and has been keeping the neighbors updated on my progress. When he mentioned all the people that had been inquiring about me, I was surprised. It will be good to be able to greet them as Rick and I sit on the porch or as I attempt to pull weeds with a "grabber" from my wheelchair from the sidewalk. I won't be able to do most of the gardening I used to, but I'll do what I can.
Chuck and Ron are gracious hosts and excellent cooks and have a home perfect for entertaining. Rick is there as I type this enjoying dinner with them tonight. While I love to cook, I never seem to be able to carry off a dinner party with the ease they seem to come by naturally.
We still laugh (thank God) about an incident that took place at a dinner they hosted a number of years ago. The table was elegantly set with beautiful china and Waterford. Somehow, as I set down my wine glass, it wobbled and started to fall. We've all had those slow motion moments where we couldn't stop a thing. The wine glass fell on it's side and didn't break. The bread plate did instead. After a moment of stunned silence, they both burst out laughing. "It's only a plate. We've got more". What classy guys.
Of course, it was family china, a German manufacturer called Hutschenreuther where even www.replacements.com doesn't have a match to their pattern and they have over 286,000 china patterns on file. Check them out if you need a few any pieces to fill out your china, silver or crystal.
Chuck and Ron, Rick and I thank you for your continued friendship and support.
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Friday, July 4, 2008
Going Home
Our neighbor, Molly, has cared for a number of family members and has a wheelchair and hospital bed. She has generously offered them to us for our use. Thank you Molly. Saturday, the bed will be put in the den where Rick and I believe I will be the most comfortable and where Rick can care for me best. Some furniture will need to be re-arranged, but I will have a view out the front of the house from the bed and there will be room for visitors. I'll be able to transfer to the wheelchair easily from the bed.
We're both very happy that I am coming home, but also realize that new challenges and learning opportunities will be a large part of the next few weeks. We are prepared to face them head on, working together as a team.
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Hydrangea
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Thursday, July 3, 2008
Recollections of the fourth of July
Each year local politicians, particularly the State Comptroller of the Treasury, Louis Goldstein, was there to "press the flesh" as much as possible. Mr. Goldstein was well respected and held that elected post from 1959 - 1998 when he died at the age of 85. His career with the State of Maryland spanned sixty years. I remember Senator Paul Sarbanes, until recently a US Senator from Maryland, attending that parade every year and the same with current Senator Barbara Mikulski. They just didn't miss it.
Local bands would strut their stuff, the Jazzercise women in pink outfits and spotless white tennis shoes would dance their way down the street. The Scouts would always join in the fun – the parade, not the dancing.
For years after the Colts left Baltimore, the Colts Band still performed and would participate. We also started having a huge band from Canada attend many years. There were several hundred members and they always sounded great. They were likely combining this with a trip to Washington, DC each year.
The Boumi Temple motorcycle group would ride their Harleys and the clown group always entertained the crowd.
The fire department and police department would always have their contingents and pump up the sirens. We would scream for more.
There would be floats by the local civic groups and some of the church groups that would loosely tie to the theme of the celebration that year. Quite often, the themes seemed to be as generic as the floats.
Kids on decorated bikes were always part of the parade, a contest having been held earlier in the day.
The various veterans groups would march and the crowd would cheer and honor their service appropriately. One of the men from my church was part of the color guard for his veterans group. You could see the pride in Herman's face to be marching in the parade.
Of course, there had to be the convertibles with tops down and people sitting in the back or on the back seat. This is when these were HUGE cars. They seemed to go for blocks. They probably were for the parade Grand Marshal and the Catonsville Celebrations Committee. The Grand Marshall always seemed to be someone I had never heard of.
In a current side note, the Towson (county seat of Baltimore County) parade has as its Grand Marshals this year Chef Duff and the entire Charm City Cakes staff. For you Food Network junkies (like me), this is the group from Ace of Cakes. Towson takes there parade pretty seriously also.
The end of the parade was always the "commercial" group. Usually, it was only "Carter's Upholstery". They drove their white van with their ad on the side, but sitting on top the van was "the chair". It was pretty awful. It was a kitchen chair that was upholstered in red, white and blue. There was a ruffle on the bottom of the seat. As the years went on, the van and chair still were the last entry in the parade.
And then it happened. The van was there, but no chair. Everyone was yelling. "Where's the chair". It was back the next year.
During the parade, volunteers would be passing buckets to collect money for the fireworks. As a child, we thought that meant the fireworks might not happen that night if they didn't collect enough.
The fireworks were always described as a "Mammoth Fireworks Display". To avoid the huge crowds at the High School, our family would go to the church grounds down the street. We could see the aerial display and avoid all the traffic and crowds. We were allowed to stand very still and enjoy sparklers. They always looked like miniature fireworks to us.
Those are my recollections of the 4th as a child. As the years have progressed, I don't know if the parade has changed all that much. I can tell you it is more popular than ever. So much so, that people now start saving viewing positions days in advance. They will place chairs on the side of the street as early as the beginning of the week. They will also lay out tarps on the high school grounds to claim space for the finale of the big day.
This parade also takes place down Frederick Road, the main street of the town. I'm surprised this doesn't cause more issues. Jim took a few pictures and they appear here. The sign that Jim has shown must be a singularly unique sign. Doesn’t it make you want to set up a chair in the middle of the road to watch the parade?
The parade also passes directly in front of the library where judging takes place. In a spectacular case of poor planning, a pedestrian island was built in the middle of the street this past year. Hmmmm...how will the floats get past or over this?
During my last few years living in Baltimore, I lived on the grounds of the church. My good friends, the Heasleys also lived on the property in the Parsonage. The youth group would create floats for the parade. Crepe paper in July heat in Baltimore does not hold up well.
One year we had a crab feast at the Carriage House where. I lived. The Heasleys had never really picked crabs before, but they took to it pretty well. Get a bushel of steamed crabs, cover the table with brown paper and go to it. Nothing tastes sweeter than crabs steamed in Old Bay seasoning. We'd walk down to the High School, enjoy the fireworks and walk back home.
On a few occasions, we went to the Mall in DC to enjoy the fireworks and National Symphony in person. Hot sticky, horrible Metro crowds to deal with to get home, but well worth it.
I'd also enjoyed the fireworks at the Inner Harbor in downtown Baltimore. After I moved to Jacksonville, Rick and I would usually just enjoy "A Capitol Fourth" on PBS and the Macy's presentation. Turn on the surround sound and you feel like you are there. On at least one occasion, we were in Washington, D.C. on the 4th. We had access to the rooftop of an office building and were able to enjoy them from there.
Once we were in Old Lyme over the 4th for an Overton/Camp family reunion of sorts. We were able to view fireworks from several towns throughout the evening across the Connecticut River but they were far enough away we could not hear them. One of these towns was Old Saybrook, the home of one of my favorite actresses, Katherine Hepburn. On at least three occasions, we were in New York City on the 4th. Once, our hotel room at the Marriott Marquis in Time Square had a direct view to the Statue of Liberty. We were able to watch the fireworks from the comfort of our room.
Another time, we went with Roger and Jennifer Overton (Rick's brother and sister-in-law) over to Brooklyn Heights to watch the Macy's fireworks over the East River reflected in the New York skyline. It was boiling hot, but the view was amazing.
The last time, we had just returned from a trip to Connecticut and were about to check into a Marriott on West 54th. I dropped Rick off with the luggage, dropped the car off across the street at Avis, walked back to where Rick was waiting. I had only been gone five minutes. Rick said "guess who was in the car behind you?" Of course, I had no clue who it would have been. It turns out Dolly Parton and her band had perfomed that evening at the fireworks, had completed the show, and were staying in our hotel.
I know this has been an unusually long entry. I just love the 4th and have celebrated it in so many different ways.
A safe and happy 4th to all of you.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
The birthday cruise
We were able to secure adjoining cabins on the rear of the ship with enormous balconies.
What we hadn’t taken into consideration that it was spring break. Luckily the spring breakers didn’t get in our way too much. Their idea of a good time and our idea of a good time never seemed to cross paths. In fact at one point during the cruise I was lying in a chaise lounge in the shade, Wendy was about 15 feet away, and neither of us realized for several hours that were in that close of proximity to each other.
At our first stop, Key West, Rick and I did parasailing.
Rick and I had not been in Key West for some time and did not have much time to walk around but we were able to see some familiar spots from previous trips we had taken there.
The evening we decided to celebrate Wendy’s birthday we went to one of the ships specialty restaurants, Chops. The meal was magnificent. Here are two pictures of that memorable evening.
In Cozumel we wandered the stores, purchased a few rugs for the house, and enjoyed local cuisine.
For dinners we ended up being seated with a family of five whose company we came to enjoy. The family was a mother, a father, and their three adult children. You never know who will end up at your table and this turned out to be a pleasant surprise. We looked forward to dinner conversation with them each evening. Once again I did not gain an ounce on this cruise.
In Belize we opted to take the airboat tour. It turned out that our dining companions were on the same tour. The tour took us through marshy areas. We saw a lot of local flora and fauna. The air boat held about twenty. The picture below is in the embarkation cabana.
We all returned from the cruise refreshed and relaxed. It was a perfect celebration for a very special birthday.
There's no place like home
I had not been out of the facility since my last radiation treatment in late May or early June. The ride to our home was comfortable.
Once at the house, we have to back into the neighbors driveway for access to the sidewalk. This time, Rick and I performed the transfer out of the car ourselves and did it flawlessly. It was teamwork at it's best. I was so proud of Rick at that moment I was nearly overcome with emotion. What did finally make me break down was the realization that I was home. As Rick parked the car and opened the house, I needed to wheel the chair from the neighbors driveway, across the front of the house, make the turn and go down the side of the house to the entrance to the back yard (we have a corner lot). This gave me a chance to look at the entire garden and explain to the therapists what everything was. Rick has done a great job of keeping the gardens up and they looked beautiful.
We reached the garden gate. One of the therapists opened it. I felt as if I was Dorothy in "The Wizard of Oz" when she opens the door of the Kansas house in the sepia tinted section and it changes to the Land of the Munchkins. The ramp looked like the Yellow Brick Road.
Alan and Chris - the ramp is a work of art. Even the therapists were impressed. It rises out of the bed of Pentas (red flowers, blooms constantly, attracts butterflies) on the left, next to our dogwood, stops at a turning platform overlooking the fountain in the corner and the central bed under the huge live oak. This bed contains Ruellia (Mexican petunia, a constant bloomer in purple), Birds of Paradise, African Iris, Shrimp Plants, several varieties of Croton and a few others. The second part of the ramp takes me past the raised bed of impatiens that are a riot of colors - magenta with splashes of red-orange. The ground level of that bed is geraniums, New Guinea impatiens and some double impatiens. These are all in pinks, purples, salmons and oranges.
Once on the deck, I'm able to have access to the entire deck. Rick let Margo and Simon out and they ran over to greet me I stopped moving in the chair and just drank it all in. I was in Paradise.
It was time to get down to business. We went in the house. I was able to move everywhere easily except the laundry room (schucks) and parts of the kitchen. We will need to rearrange some furniture, but other than that, they deemed the house safe and appropriate for my return.
I was also able to access the front porch. Rick and I love to sit on what we call the "viewmaster" porch. We have outdoor fans in the ceiling and in cool weather we can sit out there and enjoy watching neighbors walking their dogs.
The exit from the house and down the ramp was flawless. Rick and I again did the transfer back into the car unassisted for the trip back to Heartlands. The same with the exit from the car to go back into the building.
It was a most emotional and exciting day. Rick and I functioned perfectly as a team. We know we have a lot ahead of us and that there will be challenges with my care. We will meet them head on. We are ready.
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Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Ring Ring
During the evening, one of us managed to knock the phone off Joe's desk. It was a standard tan desk phone. It exploded when it hit the floor. At first, there was dead silence from the three of us. Then we lost it. We laughed so hard we cried.
We used almost an entire roll of clear tape to put the pieces of the phone together. When we checked the phone, it still worked. We taped down the switch hook, put the phone back on Joe's desk and left for the night.
We wanted to be sure we got to the office early the next morning. We acted as if nothing had happened the night before. Joe arrived at his desk and noticed the phone. He asked what happened to the phone as we called his extension. The phone rang, Joe picked up the handset and said "hello". Since we had taped down the switch hook, the phone continued to ring. Joe said "hello" louder and louder.
By this time, the entire office was laughing out loud. We apologized to Joe for breaking the phone and for the practical joke. He took it all in stride.
Traveling with Jim and Maddie was never boring.
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Physical therapy/home assessment
When we moved to the parallel bars, I was almost too exhausted to stand. it did take three tries for me to stand out of the chair. I was finally able to stand and to take six steps. They were well executed with more control than I had exhibited before. Manny was pleased and so was I. They were positive steps.
The home assessment is scheduled for tomorrow afternoon at 1:30. Rick will pick me up in our car, four of the therapists (Manny, Deb, Rachel and Stephanie) will determine if the house is ready to meet my needs.
I have not been home since May 22. It will be wonderful to be there again, even if for a short time. .
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Monday, June 30, 2008
Meet the family
After our congregation decided to move to Baltimore County from Baltimore City they purchased this 33 acre estate and used the mansion to serve as a church until we built the new church building. But more on all of that in anther story.
I remember thinking, I have never seen my mother more beautiful in this blue dress, or dad more handsome. All of us are dressed in our best clothes as we start off our lives together.
Steve is the oldest and currently lives in Manchester, Maryland with his wife Debbie. Steve is the one who rode down on his motorcycle several weeks ago to visit. Dad is retired from both the Baltimore County Police Department and the Amtrak Police Department, having served 20 years with each organization. Mom did a heck of a job of raising such a large family. Mom and Dad are still living in the house that we grew up in. Charlotte is third oldest and lives in Atlanta with her husband Andrew and her family. She does mission work and is currently in Liberia. She has traveled between the United States and Liberia for a number of years. My sister Chris lives in Catonsville, the same town as my parents, and has just completed 38 years with the federal government. She has purchased a motor home and has chosen to take a well deserved retirement. She and mom drove down in the motor home several weeks ago for a visit.
In the next row is me. I am the middle child, currently living in Jacksonville with Rick, my partner of seventeen years. Next to me is Chuck the next to the youngest. Chuck is currently living in Florida. My sister Tina is six months younger than me so that puts her fifth in age. (Keep in mind, we're a combined family.) Tina currently lives in Westminster Maryland not far from McDaniel College, my alma mater. Tina was down recently for a visit. My youngest brother Terry works for the State of Maryland and resides with Mom and Dad.
Thanks to Chris for sending me this photo last year. It is a treasured keepsake.
Family drive to Southern Maryland
Dad’s father, Pap Pap Schuhart, was originally from Southern Maryland – the Chaptico area. That is about two hours south of Baltimore. A couple times a year we would drive down for the day to visit relatives that still lived in the area. We would all pile into the station wagon – all nine of us – playing games along the way – the alphabet game, the license plate game, I-see-something. Now of course, kids can’t get in a car without a DVD, an iPod, or a cell phone.
Along the way we would watch for familiar sights. One in particular was the Wigwam Bakery. This bakery had a glass teepee out front lined with neon tubes. We never stopped but we always watched for it along the way. And of course, there were all the old motor lodge motels slowly falling into disrepair over the years – some advertising air conditioning, some advertising TV. They always had interesting names and we would watch for them each time. I think there was a Martha Washington hotel and of course others just named after local cities.
Aunt Lena lived in an old farmhouse and was a cousin of Pap Pap’s. Cousin Lottie was her daughter and lived in a newer home built on the farm. Cousin Lottie still lives there. The farm is no longer active and she will be celebrating her 91st birthday this year. When the farm was active they grew tobacco, corn, and beans. It also had a chicken house. It was the chickens that fascinated us. We couldn’t wait to get there, get some of the feed corn for the chickens, rub those kernels off and throw them through the fence to those birds. Of course, after a while our hands were completely blistered. We never learned and did it every time.
Growing up in Baltimore city and then Baltimore county, this much land was a luxury. We would run around all day long, walking through the fields, swinging on the swing, playing tag and just enjoying all this fresh air.
Aunt Lena would cook huge country meals. Of course chicken was likely to be featured at each of them. And at the end of the day we would drive home exhausted but invigorated from a day in the country.