Appointment with the oncologist

I did have my appointment with the oncologist this morning despite being stopped by CSX freight trains twice on the way. I had a stop in the lab first for blood work where every reading was perfect. Typically when I go to a physician’s office I have a really bad case of white coat syndrome and my blood pressure is usually elevated. When I take it at home, it’s fine. When the physician’s assistant took my blood pressure today it was 110/70 so I was in a relatively calm state of mind.

My oncologist is the regional melanoma specialist and we’ve always had a very open, honest and frank relationship. As Dr. Guthrie examined me he determined that there had been some shrinking of the lymph nodes that had originally been of concern. The four day chemotherapy regimen that I followed earlier appears to have had some positive effect. My oncologist does feel, given the other circumstances that I’m dealing with - the rehab, that continuing the chemotherapy regimen is the most appropriate option for me and I concur.

When I first was diagnosed with metastatic melanoma in 2006 I knew there was a possibility that it could recur and that I would not experience a normal life span. That does now appear to be more of a likelihood. Cures for melanoma that have entered other body systems are rare. The fact that the chemotherapy will be of some benefit does not mean that it is likely to be a cure.

During the appointment Rick was with me as well as a co-worker of Rick’s, Dr. Reuben Brigety. Reuben has been an excellent resource to us, helping us with questions. At the conclusion of the exam I did ask Dr. Guthrie, if the Temodar continues to be successful, what time frame am I likely looking at. His straightforward answer was nine to twelve months.

After the appointment as I was waiting for the transport van to take me back to the rehab center, Rick and I were sitting in the lobby of the medical building for about twenty minutes. I am not on this journey alone. Rick is being as strong for me as I am attempting to be strong for him.

Let me be clear, this does not mean that Barry is giving up. This does not mean that Barry is going to stop fighting this. What it does mean is that Barry needs to understand the parameters that now surround his life.

I continue to draw incredible strength from all the emails, phone calls, blog comments, and cards. Those of you that know me well, particularly in the Supply Chain office, know that in the True Colors personality profile I am high green (very data driven) and dealing with this in a green fashion is the only way that makes sense to me.

While this is certainly not the news I had hoped to receive, it is the news I expected to receive. My sense of humor is still intact. My zest and joy for life is here and not going anywhere. Each day is going to be lived to the fullest.

There certainly have been positive elements to this journey. I have had the opportunity to truly discover how many lives I have touched even when I was not aware of it. I have developed an inner peace that I didn’t realize was possible. I also always feel as if I am surrounded by the thoughts and prayers of all of you that are part of this journey with me.